Okay so I’ve seen two movies in January thus far* (three if you count Frozen in 3-D). One was American Hustle which is a 2013 film and in my top five films of 2013. Funny. And I have to say I finally understand why people talk about Jennifer Lawrence as an actress.
I saw Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit and it’s not awful. It’s the best film of 2014* (of 2014 releases that I’ve seen thus far). It’s also the worst film of 2014* (of 2014 releases that I’ve seen thus far). Premise was way too familiar.
- Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit
I saw We’re the Millers today. I laughed. I’m ranking it at 20 out of the 30 films I’ve seen this year. Hopefully a graphically swollen testicle prothesis makes you laugh. And convincing a young man to try and bribe somebody with a blow job…The writing wasn’t great. Maybe it’ll be on Netflix streaming and you can enjoy this bit of comedy.
Super hot? Go see a movie! Today’s film … Planes. A computer animated film that had been planned as a direct to video movie from the DisneyToon Studios…released into theatres. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t awful. But I can’t exactly recommend it. Continue reading “Planes: Needs More Mater. What’s the point of being in the World of Cars without Mater?”
Blah blah blah post blah blah blah movie blah blah review. So I don’t think I mentioned this yet but I occasionally post up at clever bee where I’m chuffed about things and that’s mainly because of jacksgap and tyler oakley who introduced the word into my vocabulary.
Lazy Post: Go see The World’s End
And now, more senseless ramblings on the movie. Probably with spoilers. Mostly nonsense. Continue reading “Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost…it’s The World’s End”
After my post about Blackfish, the new documentary about Tilikum I went to the film’s website where they had posted a response from SeaWorld. SeaWorld says that it is not stocking their parks with orcas captured from the wild. Not in more than 35 years. (This is why they masturbate Tilikum.)
Apparently the response does not include any ideas as to why captive male orca suffer from dorsal fin collapse. Knowing that the rate of dorsal fin collapse in the wild is very low (1%) and the rate of dorsal fin collapse in captivity is high (most/all male orcas) was disturbing information to me.
Blackfish Official Film Site: SeaWorld responds
And the trailer:
There’s this film…a semi biographical documentary about a Orca named Tilikum. Tilikum is an imprisoned slave to the SeaWorld company who keeps him around for profit. Tilikum has been known to contribute to or outright kill and mutilate people. Especially people with ponytails. And this disturbing information is what I’m bringing with me after watching the movie Blackfish. Continue reading “Whalesturbation and the disturbing tale of Blackfish OR why I can’t enjoy Shamu anymore”
In Case You Missed It (because I posted these at 1am in the morning and somehow you’re online at 10p on a Friday) Continue reading “ICYMI More Instagram videos: free candy is good candy and an Elysium video review”
If I go to sleep before writing this review I might not remember to do it. So I apologize if I’m not coherent now. I don’t have an excuse for the other times I’m incoherent. Saw Elysium tonight and while I enjoyed the film, it could have been better. It’s not because I don’t support tales where poverty-class protagonists raise themselves out of the dirt to become heroes. No, it’s because I feel like Elysium could have been epic and instead I feel like the story suffered from either uninspired writing or a desire to shape the movie to message.
Matt Damon is Max and he’s a guy raised by nuns who likes a girl who is a nurse and one of his coping strategies in a world of poverty is crime. So he’s got a history as a car thief. But he’s trying to do good now. He’s got a job…but it all goes wrong and he ends up a hippopotamus. Luckily a cute girl is a meerkat. Continue reading “Elysium is a nice place to visit, but not the best film this summer”
I went to see The Spectacular Now at the Arclight Cinerama Dome. Hopefully my opinion isn’t colored by the curvature of the screen. I came with high hopes; the film has been fairly well reviewed. And I mean c’mon. The movie is called SPECTACULAR!
But I felt it was an uneven unrealistic portrayal of teenage alcoholism. Out protagonist, Sutter Keely is at a turning point in his life. He’s drinking his life away, trying to please everyone but he’s fairly directionless. Spoilers after the jump. Continue reading “The Lackluster Spectacular Now: Not Your Favorite New Teen Film”